Wednesday, February 04, 2009
Corporate Ladder !
Today I was supposed to have a discussion a.k.a. showdown with my Boss. We had to discuss something and I strongly believed that the kinda strong headed he is, he will definitely put up a fierce fight and things will turn messy. It was like a match between ManU and Liverpool with both sides allowed to kick wherever they get a chance, break all the circular looking things and break all the joints and see that you kick more flesh than rubber. But the worst part is scorer always favours the person sitting on the higher chair. It’s like scorer has a bad case of carpal tunnel from pressing the button so often, Bosses to win with ever increasing margins.
Though I believe company chooses Bosses who are always there to keep you feeling bad of your own hard work, but the one I have is too much. He will keep on arguing/fighting/resisting and will take you to the lowest level of logical discussion and beat you with his competence. Sometimes I believe how can a company with such a repute can put a man of limited (may be over rated) competence to such a higher level. Or is it how large companies operate. Have 3 ppl in top management who will do all the thinking for us and put all those people lower down the order who can just act instantly without asking questions. It’s a corporate ladder wherein you sitting down, the more upwards you see, you only see asses. Someone shits from top and you have to do the cleaning things. Even if a shake up happens, only people down the ladder get fallen off. I still couldn’t imagine how come a normal human being converts into an Ass the moment he crosses a certain hierarchy and his Ass-Index is directly proportional to the number of ladder he goes up.
And even after the presence of this crème-la-crème sitting at top, if the company is still going ok, then there do exists God on this earth. Amen !
Sunday, February 01, 2009
Y’day i thought of eating out and went to a restaurant. Since it was just close to my home, so I thought walking down to the restaurant. It was a lovely, slightly chill evening with kinda calm, serene background. I really enjoyed that path but the moment I entered the restaurant, there was a crackling sound everywhere. I mean, any railway station would easily have competed in decibel level which was quite a contrast to what is observed earlier while walking.
Earlier I thought of leaving the place but my ravenous appetite made me stay. So, I ordered fast and was waiting for the order to come. After few minutes when I was engulfed in my thoughts, I some how started feeling at ease. The noise which was at the same level, started coming down and after my food was delivered, I suddenly felt that why there is so calm here, where all my vocalizing natives went. I mean, how come the earlier deafening noise had become so hushed. Is it how its supposed to be. Is it how we just stop reacting to anything after some time? Does noise always become silent after some time ?
I mean, how come our views change so often and so soon with time and we nicely put it as time heals everything. If we see in our regular life as well, we often crib about our tyrannical boss, servile job, monotonous life but we still carry on without trying to change anything. Why we start accepting everything that comes in our lives. Why we always go with the flow and never want to take a detour no matter how much interesting is it. Why we always are able to find reasons to justify ourselves as to why ought to be happy and not change anything.
I still couldn’t answer myself for being in same job for 4 years when I don’t belong here.
Friday, January 02, 2009
F**K : The Most versatile word in dictionary
I just came across a clipping about how our most famous 4 letter word f**k and its usage across situations and dam it was good. I am posting below the same while changing f**k to fcuk (hopefully avoiding any moral internet police litigation).
FCUK (f**k) is the most versatile word in English language. It falls into many grammatical categories.
It can be used as a
1) Verb, both transitive and intransitive
Transitive: John fckued mary.
In Transitive: Mary was fcuked by John.
2) Noun: Mary is a fine fcuk.
3) Adjective: Mary is fcuking beautiful
Situational uses:
1) Fraud: I got fcuked by the used car dealer
2) Ignorance: Fcuk if I know!
3) Trouble: I guess I am Fcuked now!
4) Aggression: Fcuk You!
5) Displeasure: What the Fcuk is going on here?
6) Difficulty: I can’t understand this fcuking job.
7) Incompetence: He is a fcuk off!
8) Suspicion: What the fcuk are you doing?
9) Enjoyment: I had a fcuking time!
10) Request: Pls get the fcuk out of here!
11) Hostility: I am going to knock your fcuking head off!
12) Greeting: How the fcuk are you?
13) Apathy: Who gives a fcuk!
14) Innovation: Get a bigger fcuking hammer!
15) Surprise: Fcuk, you scared the shit out of me!
16) Anxiety: Today is really fcuked?
I never understood the magnanimity of this word till now !!!
Friday, December 19, 2008
Our Second Occupation – Doctor
Why is it that every Indian (esp North Indian), is a born doctor at heart. Why they are always capable of bringing out some unique obscure way of healing irrespective of whether they have never heard the disease ever. Is it something in our genes or acquire owing to peer pressure (Yes, peer pressure as no one wants to be the last one to visit the patient and not land themselves offer the already offered remedy). It made me to think as whether we are very compassionate at heart and want to stopover at the patient or not to be left a chance in offering free-fund ka advice, I think the latter.
I just got a taste of this recently when I met with an accident and got disc dislocation (L4, L5 discs to be precise, :D, not to be left a chance of genuine advise if some doctor visits this page) which helps in lower body movement.
So, I got to meet/chat/talk a lot of people who offered me different types of cure than ever thought of all the medical fraternity of India. The bigger pain is when everyone has the same questions to ask with and random advice to part with. The 4 exactly same questions I answered numerously during my 1 month if bed rest were
1) Arre Sam, kya hua… u not well, u never told me dude ? (As if the first thing you should ever do after meeting with the accident is not rush to doctor but send a sms to all the people u know about your latest misadventure)
2) Accha, how did is happened? Kiski galti thi? (May be its important to make them as part of my testimony when even i’ll file for insurance)
3) How is the pain now (It wud have been better had u r not the 100th person asking the same question)
4) What does doctor say? Tum kab acche ho jaoge?
Now as much painstakingly possible, they expect you to tell them and before you properly answer the last question, they will jump in the fray and start recollecting all those people who they think had this problem. Its like
Sam to Arora aunty: According to doctor, I will get better in …(Cutting it short)
Arora Aunty to Sam: Arre, yeh sab doctor log to pagal hote hain. My cousin’s daughter’s friend’s son has also experience the same. I advised him to go to that person for massage and eat these things. He got better in few days.
I mean does it like these people have have certification in curing all kind of ailments by their ‘home-made/dreadful looking/more dreadful tasting stuff’. The best part is you will get to know
a) New relatives/acquaintances who were never part of your world (Mummy ki chachi ki cousin ki friend Bhavna ki friend ka phone aaya hai)
b) New places which never existed on earth (Arre, shilpa aunty was telling ki there is a baba who lives in God-so-forsaken village near never-heard-before town has instant cure for this. Surprisingly why don’t our Govt. approaches these ppl for eradicating bigger nemesis like Polio, AIDS etc)
c) Never heard/seen before stuff which you have to just gulp.
So, God forbid if you ever get unwell don’t tell anyone. Even if its get leaked out, tell them you are fine now and joining office within next few hours. Else …..
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
From Boss to Chunnu ke Papa : Kuch kaam tum theek se nahi kar sakte (You can’t do anything right)
Chuunu ke papa to chunnu ki mom (after coming home) : Ek chai nahi bana saki badiya, u can’t do anything right.
Chunnu ki mom to her Maid: Theek se safai karo, u just can’t do anything right
-- Another scenario:
Chunnu ki mom to chunnu ke dad: Aaj take ek diamond set nahi dila sake, you are worthless
Chunnu ke Dad to his driver: Theek se gadi chalo, ek to kaam kar lo kabhi life mein..
Driver to his wife (raat ko): Aaj phir khana badiya nahi banaya, you just can not do anything right.
So, who is always at the receiving end of this Social hierarchy of Frustration: The Driver’s Wife/ Pion’s Wife/ Maid. I mean why always these people. Are they destined to make a social cause and alleviate this world of unending frustration? Why the sky falls apart on these poor souls only. Though it may make the famous Chunnu couple lessen their pain a bit but at what cost, torturing the people who at their lowest level of Maslow Hierarchy.
But what happens in so called developed countries, there these people are not at the lowest level of food chain. They earn almost as much as we earn as software engineer. So is that the cause that in India, our famous Chunnu couple is still a couple (by mentally relieving themselves on readily available and accommodating maids) but in US they vent out their frustration on each other and hence higher Divorce rates and living alone.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Hollywood ka Mithun - Steven Seagal
I just saw one more Steven "Seagull" movie – 'Out of Reach'. It was one more classic in his already no story-useless action-God knows why i watched it-list. Dont know why I am describing the story when there ain’t. The story line revolves around how one man fights against the entire human trafficking industry. In the movie, he protects a small girl, his pen friend (not explained how he knew her) from getting into human trafficking. The girl gets kidnapped and he follows the bad man to get her out. The little girl keeps on leaving some clues in some code language (which she learn in letters only sent by our hero). But director never understood the magnanimity of Steven, I mean he is Steven duh!, why the hell he will be needing clues to find out the bad people. He just has to guide a taxi to reach them, be it Turkish Embassy or secret vestibule of that scoundrel. So, as expected Steven never used any of the clues left to find them. Instead the audience was uniquely witnessed to his fine computer hacking skills (irrespective of him being in the jungles since ages), charm (such a rugged head expressions) and fine martial art (even when just movement of such a flabby body seems tricky). In between, he also tangles across a probable love interest (who I think got disinterested after knowing our hero’s age), who helps her in 3 minutes of shoot out. Now again director thought giving guns to our hero will help him kill the enemies, but alas, out hero just need hands to kill all of them. Ain’t it a powerful clench, much stronger than our Dharam Ji or his son Sunny Ji. So our hero ji find the leads of world’s largest drug trafficking network (but just one click of computer), finds the involved company in 10 secs( from the address book of some 1000 ppl), finds the lead conspirator (by just following one random car) and kills all of them by bare hands (you still have any doubt !).
So, the more I watched the movie, the more believed that Steven is just blindly following our Mithun Da. I mean no story, no screen play (one fighting scene followed by another only), heroines half the age or less only, the same style of slaughtering the conspirators by himself, knowing all the bad people before entering the crime scene, busting all the hide outs without opening the map and killing all the villains without using a bullet.
But one thing he lacked which our Mithun Da has:- the killing dialogues, delightful cast( Ibu Hathela, Lambu Atta, Chutiya Pathan), the same protecting the humanity nature, the all so revered song-dance-fight routine (though lately song and dance have gone more minuscule (Mithun Da started acting his age in late 50s). Long Live Mithun Da and shame on Steven for copying him!
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Reflections !!
For some time I am feeling sad. For some time I am feeling lost. Is it pain of not getting something or is pain of getting something unwanted. What I am looking at which is not there in front of my eyes. I went inside my mind but still couldn’t find anything. Is it a frequent activity or something I am experiencing the first time.
What to do, where to go, who to seek help from. I am getting lost in my own world. Am I tensed or uptight. Is it anger launched at myself or anger launched at you. What are these invisible barriers which are keeping me from being myself. What are these sinking feeling deep down. Is it fair that I am feeling low while the world is at sky high or is it that me only who is keeping myself meeting with the world at large.
Sometimes I have difficulty in understanding myself. Where is that Vibrant Me! Where is that Vivacious Me! Have I ceased to be a child or the Man in me has taken a lead. I am still confused, I am still bewildered.
What I did not realize was that the Man in me just got lost in this hopeless world lost in darkness and misery. But I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I told myself that everything is going to be fine. And today, I have found him again. And today, I am not gonna let go of him. Never ever.
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