Monday, March 26, 2007
Few months back, I was on my regular routine of longish evening stroll on weekends. This time I went deeper into smaller streets in Kolkata. There was a smallish society ground. The place was crammed with people of all ages, friends chatting, parents pampering their toddlers, old people having their share of evening dose of fun and some kids playing football (the only place in India where I don’t see cricket). During the course of the game, kids saw an ice cream vendor coming their side. They just started screaming for ice cream, stopped the play and all of them ran towards that ice cream vendor, started surfing the van and picked their brand. So all the match and scores gone hay wire for just passion for the scrumptious, lip-smacking dessert called ice cream.
Looking at them, I remembered my childhood days how we used to be when we were kids. Small-small things were cherished like a huge affair, no strong reason required to go for a picnic, people were made friends based on their simpler liking (its like kids discussing: who is ur favourite WWF star; Terminator; wow, me too—hey we are the best friends). No special event was required to treat others.
But today, we just wait and wait for one big moment in our life to feel happy rather show happy. The reason should be big enough to throw a party making at least a dozen people zealous.
No longer savouring a special dish from Mom makes us feel cheerful.
No longer has a small appreciation from Boss made us feel elated (only promotion or pay hike will do well)
Only a week long leave will be enjoyed, weekends are only for just rest
So where are we heading to? Why are we becoming so mature to not enjoy and appreciate the smaller things in life, which by themselves may not be big but collectively they may be bigger than the biggest moment in our life till now. Why are we just awaiting one mega moment to come and create magic in our life?
We spent much of my time looking forward to "the next big thing." It seemed like no matter where I was in life; there was always somewhere better to be. We've become so conditioned to strive for the place that we want to be that we've lost the pleasure of basking in the moment and living it to the fullest.
When I was in school I couldn't wait to be in college, when I was in college I wanted to be in the corporate world. When I am in corporate world, I want to do those things which no one else has done. So when I finally "arrived" where I thought I wanted to be there seemed to be this empty feeling that came along with the "hurry up and wait" way that I'd lived my life.
So this time when I went on leave at my home town, with my parents, I ensured I live all the small moments in life. It may be visiting the school where I spent my childhood, eating from the familiar street vendors, meeting all my old friends no matter how close or distant we were during school, exploring all those parks where I used to play in my school days, visiting all those areas where I used to roam and many more which may seem to be more trivial but what I realized after my holidays that collectively they were much bigger than anything else in my recent times.
We do not stop playing because we grew old; We grow old because we stopped playing!!!
Sunday, March 25, 2007
KNOWING WHAT WE WANT
Most of the times in our life, we don’t know what we want. We keep heading in newer directions to search for that happiness which most of the times lie with us only.
Remember when we were kids, we just wanted to grow old as fast as we can so that we can join college and can live our own life, far away from the observing eyes of our parents. We just hated exams, school uniforms, writing “yours obediently” in our sick leave applications, admiring the fascinating college life as shown in DDLJs, Kuch Kuch Hota hai, Phool aur Kaantes of the worlds. So we reached college and found the stark opposite of what we saw. You feel like you have been made proper fool of. The engg diagrams, chemical labs, microwave labs robbed all of the thoughts of having parties, long drives, bunking classes and enjoying the canteen time. Well that was not the part of the scene in DDLJ which I saw. But still we grew (though our pocket money wouldn’t let us expand the envelope). Then the thoughts of having a job and feeling complete independence started filling the mind.
So you land up in a good job which pays well too. Now you got everything you wanted since the time you started changing you own nappies. Atleast now you should be happy, you got job, your personal room, your bike, and above all your independence. You have the ability to spend on what you want, when you want, how much you want not worrying and even figuring it why you want.
No, you still are not…..
The high paying job starts demanding its fair share of flesh. You start working late in night, reaching home by 10, flying outside city on some official tour on week ends just because you are needed back to office on Monday morning for an important meeting. You start cutting time from you personal life to account for completing that job which in any manner was not meant to be completed in the allotted time.
Now,
You have money, but no time to spend.
You have phone, but no time to call your parents/friends(even the enemies).
You have car, but no time to go for a long drive.
You have laptop, but no time to send even a casual mailto your old pals.
You can afford all types of food, but still eat pizzas, because you also got 30 minutes nahin to meeting kaun attend karega.
Suppose even amid all these chaos, you find some time for your self, then you don’t have pals to hang out with because you never kept track of their plans. So now you for shopping, not for buying because you need it, but because you were feeling very lonely at home on a Sunday evening.
I remember an old saying which goes something like, “You don’t know the wealth of water till the well is dry”.
Now you start remembering you old time when go would go out with friends not for a party/pub/disc but to a local chaat shop and enjoy pani-poori, tikki. The smell of those samosa’s were cherished much more that any Thai or continental dish which you still leave halfway. Life seemed more beautiful even in that small Pocket money than the Lacs you earning today. You miss all those times when your parents called but you couldn’t pick up the phone coz your were busy attending your client’s call. You want to go back but you can’t.
So unfair; the appreciation for a certain thing comes only when the thing is already gone; rarely does life give the chance of having something and enjoying it too under the awareness of its importance.
So why are we working like that. Everyone working hard behind a vision works fine until everyone is burnt out. I guess Google isn't old enough to know ;) I did hear that peer pressure is nothing, but it’s all hear-say. Every second in your job, you are just made to vie even with your colleague. Company makes sure you don’t have any pals but only competing colleagues. So you keep fighting till you realize its just a one way road.
It’s all about work-life balance. We can only complain so much about our jobs and our lack of work-life balance. There are only so many "hacks" we can come up with to get around working too much, not having enough time at home with our parents, not having enough time for our friends...or ourselves. Our lives are too short to spend feeling angry or guilty of not doing anything.
Well I just realized that recently. (The blog after so many months just showed that how much time I wasted in the process which now I would proudly call Enlightment)
I have a life outside of my job, and I plan on keeping it that way. It may take a toll on my job/salary/career, so be it. It took me quite a few years to realize that Rs 3 samosa @ home tastes much better than Rs 300 Italian Salad !!!
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